


The warm embrace of long, sharp teeth

by Kyriadamorte



Series: Children of Dragons (monster!Rey verse) [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: (not Rey or Kylo), Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cannibalism, Child Death, Dominant Rey, F/M, Fairy Tale Elements, Force Bond (Star Wars), Human/Monster Romance, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Jakku is a messed up place and the Force is also messed up, Light Dom/sub, Monster!Rey, Somewhat horror, Submissive Kylo Ren, depending on your point of view, gratuitous Jakku world building, human!kylo, in the loosest sense, somewhat comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-08-09 03:33:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16442213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyriadamorte/pseuds/Kyriadamorte
Summary: There are stories on Jakku that every child knows.  Younglings who wander off into the cold, barren night and never come back.  Ever-shifting monsters, too terrible for the mind to hold.Stay close to the fire, my darling, stay close.Rey knew these stories, too.  She just didn't realize she was in one.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kuresoto](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuresoto/gifts).



> Written for "Mythology" Day for Reylo Monster Week 2018. I'll post the prologue and Chapter 1 on Sunday, the next three chapters one a day until Halloween, and then the final four chapters on Fridays.
> 
> Huge thank you to kuresoto who gave me the courage to write this.
> 
> Note: There is some troubling content in this fic. It's never discussed very graphically, but if you have a question about any of the tags I've posted or think I've left one out, feel free to shoot me a comment. I have absolutely zero compunction about spoiling the plot if it will help you have a safer reading experience.

A lone voice cries out in the desert.

 

Madgreth pulls their shawl tighter around their shoulders.Ahead, Kabran lumbers noisily onward, the stench of stale Garian ale wafting out behind him.Magreth's stomach both growls and revolts at the scent.

 

"Keep up, you useless halfbreed!" he shouts, barely glancing over his shoulder.

 

They try to pick up the pace, but they haven't eaten in nearly two days and they sway and stagger over the unsteady terrain.Jakku's sun has set and the temperature is rapidly dropping from swelteringly hot to frigidly cold with each passing second.Their pulse beats a steady rhythm behind their temples at the change and they nearly miss it but then-

 

A voice, small, but carrying, piercing, even, whips around them, inside them, dancing on the wind.

 

Their eyes dart around the graveyard of TIE fighters, scanning the horizon in all directions, straining to find the source of the cry.

 

"What the fuck are you looking at, half wit?"

 

He's turned back on them, giving Madgreth his full attention in a way that has never worked out well.

 

"I- I heard something.An animal, maybe.We should be caref-"

 

He darts towards them with a speed uncharacteristic of a man of his height and….relative sobriety level.His hand grasps at their throat, stroking at their chin with one calloused thumb in a twisted facsimile of affection.

 

"You sayin' I can't keep us safe, little pet?"

 

Madgreth wishes he'd stuck with insults; the term of endearment cuts like a knife.

 

Still, they know there's only one right answer and silence isn't an option. They swallow against his restrictive grasp before muttering, "No. No, of course not, Kabran."

 

"That's right, pet. I always keep you safe," he says, loosening his fingers after deciding they'd been sufficiently subservient.

 

_Of course. Can't let anyone break your toys but you._

 

He's about to make off towards their hut when, once again, a voice echos in the cold desert night - desperate and heartbroken.This time, Madgreth thinks they can just make out the words.

 

_Come baaaacck!_

 

They stop in their tracks and the word is out of their mouth before they can think, "Wait!"

 

His whole bod freezes and he turns to them in a snarl."You trying to tell me what to do, you lazy shit?"

 

"N-no."

 

"You know what happens when you wait in the desert at night? You _die._ "

 

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't-"

 

"Didn't _think_ , did you? Never do. No, it's always me that has to do the thinking for us and always you who gives me lip about it."

 

He looms towards them and raises his hand to strike. Madgreth closes their eyes and braces for impact.

 

It doesn't come.

 

Instead, there is a swift thump and a scream - a man's this time, Kabran's.Their eyes snap open and before them there is a scramble of limbs, dark and shadowed by more than just the dim of twilight.They're frozen in place, staring, trying to force their mind to process the scene in front of them.

 

Kabran is pinned against the sand, struggling and writhing while long, grey limbs hold him in place.Two, then three, then four, but, no, perhaps two again.Shadows cling to the creature's body, even as moonlight glistens on the surface of its skin. They try to force themself to breathe as long claws swipe down and then down and then down again.Kabran screams and thrashes, managing to wriggle one massive arm free from its grasp.There's a crunch and an echoing scream as he manages to land a solid punch to the creature's jaw.His hand flails at his side, sightlessly scouring the sand and then-

 

The blaster is not even halfway to the creature's temple before it is knocked out of his hand with a snarl. It spins artlessly through the air and lands in front of Madgreth's feet.

 

"Madgreth! Help me!"

 

Madgreth doesn't move.

 

"Madgreth, _please!"_

 

It occurs to them, vaguely, that this is the first time he's said their name in years.They bend down, slowly, and take the weapon in their hands.

 

The creature is still restraining Kabran, who is no longer struggling, with its impossibly long limbs, but has turned to peer at Madgreth over its shoulder. It's breathing heavily, a rhythmic growling purr on each inhale and exhale.Its teeth are bared slightly but the gaze is…curious.

 

Madgreth runs their fingers along the blaster's grip, wondering at the small scuffs and grooves.Kabran had never let them have their own weapon.They look him dead in the eyes as they slip it into the back of their trousers.

 

The shocked scream of terror and betrayal that follows might have been satisfying at some point not so long ago.

 

It's not now.

 

Kabran goes silent with a quick snap of his neck, but the creature doesn't begin to feed. It cocks its head and within three breaths it's up, over, then right in front of them.

 

Large, reflective yellow eyes peer up at them, then down at them as the creature's form shifts, flickering.They blink rapidly, trying to adjust to the broken-holo-like vision before them.It's perhaps why they don't notice the long, clawed finger until it's already brushing a strand of hair out of their face and behind their ear. 

 

Limbs glide and sway - first long, then longer.As it circles them, moving into their peripheral vision, the form becomes more solid, more certain, and they think they can see brown hair pulled back into three messy buns.As they turn to look, however, the form flickers and drifts into shadow.

 

The sight brings with it startling clarity. They know what this is now, even though it's _impossible._ They'd suspected since the beginning, but, of course, it couldn't be - it _couldn't be._ They're just a myth, a fairytale, stories the village elders told children to make them behave at night.

 

_Maragai._

 

It bends down slowly and there's something soft and timid about its lanky, expansive form collapsing in on itself like a dying star.It gatherers Kabran's old rucksack off the ground and places it in their hands. Portions, water, blankets - more than they've ever had control of all at once in their entire life - and it's all theirs now.

 

"There's an old outpost on the other side of the valley, before the cliffs."

 

The stories never said that Maragai were from Coruscant.Or, you know, that they could speak, generally.

 

"Thank you," they say, and they find that they mean it.

 

They turn and start walking, humming to themself and ignoring the snarling and crunching behind them.They don't look back.

 

~

 

It's only later that they remember to be afraid.


	2. Chapter 1 - Kylo's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Of all the ways Kylo envisioned himself dying - and there were many - heat stroke and dehydration had not been one of them.

Of all the ways Kylo envisioned himself dying - and there were many - heat stroke and dehydration had not been one of them. 

 

There's Luke, obviously - a graceful arc of a green lightsaber that he's too slow to stop.Hux, definitely.His mother, sometimes, when he lets his mind drift to her - on his knees, hands bound behind his back, a blaster pressed to his temple as she looks down at him, mournfully.Snoke, not as often as one might suspect, but still…when he's failed _particularly_ badly…

 

Point is, he'd never imagined it would be sprawled out on some shit-hole like Jakku with sand (somehow) in his boots and not a single enemy he can take down with him.

 

It's equal parts humiliating and infuriating; he wasn't even supposed to _be_ here, but of course Hux couldn't handle his own operations, so Snoke had sent Kylo to provide some additional…motivation.And spying.The Resistance _wasn't supposed to fucking be there._

 

If _Kylo_ had been flying, he wouldn't even be in this mess, but as it is….

 

As it is, he's wandered the desert for hours now, wasting energy and water in the hopes of finding some sort of civilization.Nothing.Miles and miles of endless nothing on this, the ass crack of the galaxy.

 

He closes his eyes and his mind drifts while the ground spins.Kylo's last thought is of Commander Dameron and how glad he is that at least he is not here to see this.

 

~

 

When Kylo wakes, his mask is gone and he is in darkness.He's still thirsty, but not desperately so.His lips feel slightly sticky and when he tries to lick the substance away he recoils at the unexpected bitterness.

 

It takes him less than a minute to realize he is not alone.It's not the quiet hiss of breath, nor the sifting whisper of scattering sand.Rather, it's a presence in the Force, swirling and bright and practically shouting at him.

 

He feels her attention turn to him- for yes, it is a her - not long after he becomes aware of her.Curiosity and a vague, artless probing brushes at the surface of his mind and then there's movement. 

 

Breath on his face.And then-

 

He sputters as liquid unexpectedly splatters over his lips, onto his face.

 

"What the-"

 

"Drink."

 

A curt command in a clear Coruscant accent.

 

"What is that?" he asks, coughing.

 

"Kayakin juice." A beat. "Drink."

 

He toys with the idea of refusing, but the Force and a voice that sounds suspiciously like his mother are both telling him that refusing the hospitality of a woman who has, in all likelihood, saved his life, is probably not the best idea. 

 

He opens his mouth. The juice is bitter and cloying, but refreshing.He drinks obediently until she decides he's had enough.He hears her move away, but he still can't _see_ her, can't see anything and although he can feel her, there's something strange and wrong about this place; the Force flows fractured around him, but he can't get his foot, can't-

 

"Where am I?"

 

He grimaces at the nerves he hears in his own voice.

 

"Jakku."

 

He rolls his eyes and he hopes she can see it."I'm aware. I was hoping for something a bit more specific."

 

"My home," she says and there's a bit of a bite there. Fair enough. "One of them, anyway."

 

Her voice comes from this way then that.He reaches out, trying to track her movements, but fails.

 

"I could say anything, though, couldn't I?" He hears from space about two yards away from where he expected. "It's not as if you actually know your way around here."

 

"Nor do I ever plan to," he snaps.Her teasing while he lies weakened and vulnerable is intolerable.

 

She laughs, little more than a snort and Kylo bristles further.

 

"You have somewhere to be, offworlder?"

 

"Yes, actually. The closest ship so I can get off this Force-forsaken planet."

 

More laughter - lighter and brighter this time - appears from somewhere directly behind him. "And the junk bosses are just going to give one to you? You don't have any money."

 

Of course she checked, horrible desert rat.

 

"I'll _persuade_ them," he snarls out, pushing as much of his intent behind the words as possible, hoping to frighten her so she'll _shut up._

 

"With your winning personality?" she scoffs, completely unfazed.

 

So much for that. 

 

"Where is my mask?"

 

"You're not going to be able to buy a ship with this thing; the filters on it are rubbish."

 

"I wasn't planning on- Wait, _what_?"

 

"They're rubbish - can't even handle some of the more common class B poisons.And the life support is basically a joke. Don't even know if it can be scrapped for parts."

 

Kylo refuses to be embarrassed by this.He _refuses_.

 

"Are you done interrogating me?"

 

"Probably not."

 

He's not used to people who aren't afraid of him (besides Snoke, obviously, and Hux, to his _great_ frustration) so this whole conversation leaves him feeling a bit wrong-footed.He struggles to sit up, battling the pounding pain at his temples, and searching for something to say.

 

"Why are you taking care of me?"

 

He partially regrets it the moment the words leave his lips. He's shown his hand now, hasn't he? Except she's had all the cards from the beginning, so it's not as if it really mat-

 

"You didn't die."

 

Her words are matter-of-fact and sit awkwardly between them.

 

"Did you want me to?" he asks, when he realizes no further clarification is forthcoming.

 

She waits a few beats too long before answering, "No…No, I don't think so."

 

Right then. "Are you going to let me go?"

 

"Well, you're free to go now, but I don't think you'll get very far."

 

He squashes the part of himself that's fourteen years old and tempted to crawl out of this place on his hands and knees just to prove her wrong.Still, he's tempted to say _something._

 

"Return my helmet." 

 

Once again he pushes his will behind the words.Once again they seem to slide off her like water.The silence drags on.

 

" _Please."_

 

She doesn't move to hand it to him, instead she asks, "Are you hiding from someone?"

 

"No!"

 

"Well, then why does it make your voice change?"

 

He doesn't have to put up with this."Listen-"

 

"Fine, here you go," she says, tossing it at him, and it's only his training in the Force that allows him to catch it before it makes impact with his nose.

 

There's a brush of cold air past his face and then, somehow, from behind him, "I'm going out to scavenge.Try not to die."

 

And then he is alone.

 

He doesn't put the mask on.

 

~

 

By the time she returns, morning has come and the barest hint of daylight has found its way through the winding narrow caverns to the part of the cave (for it is, indeed, a cave) where Kylo was abandoned hours before.He hasn't moved much, hasn't had the energy, but he _has_ searched blindly about the space for his lightsaber, hoping to have it upon her return, but to no avail.

 

Her form is vaguely silhouetted by the dim light and though he still cannot make out much, he can see long, willowy limbs and hair that has been pulled back into three slightly messy buns.And in her hands-

 

"Here you go."

 

There's a thump as she drops a small canvas bag at his feet.The stench of stale sweat assaults his nostrils as he leans in to investigate, but he's too curious to let that dissuade him.As he rummages around, his fingers brush over rusted metal tools, a scanner, and a handful of small plastic packages.

 

She takes one from his hands, opens it, dumps the contents into a small bowl and returns to him a minute later with something in her hands that he's fairly certain is supposed to resemble bread.

 

It's tough and tasteless and bits of grit stick in Kylo's teeth, but it's been nearly two days since he last ate so he devours it without complaint.

 

The woman crouches in front of him staring him in the face as he eats.At least he assumes that's where she's looking, it's still hard to make out any of distinct facial features.After he's eaten enough to take the piercing edge off his hunger, he starts to feel the weight of her gaze and slows his chewing.He tears off a piece and hands it to her, wondering if that is what she's waiting for.

 

A small shake of her head, "I ate already," and she continues to watch.

 

Unnerved, Kylo tries to fill the silence.

 

"Where'd you find this?"

 

Terrific. Now he's making stilted small talk his rescuer and possible captor.

 

"Merchant."

 

"So, by scavenging you meant stealing," he says as he continues to chew.

 

"He's dead; it's not like he was going to use it."

 

Her voice is nonchalant, but somehow Kylo knows that this merchant was not dead when she had first come upon him.

 

"What's your name?" he asks, breathless.

 

She jerks back slightly and cocks her head at the question. "My name?"

 

He thinks about sniping out something like "Do they not have them on Jakku?" but he needs to know who she is, this woman who has apparently already killed for him, so instead he just whispers out, " _Yes_."

 

She lowers her head to stare at her fingers, which have started picking at each other nervously.He blinks and she's somehow moved to be further back against the cave wall, further in the shadows.

 

When she answers, her voice sounds smaller, younger. "Rey. My name is Rey."

 

"Rey," he says, and her presence positively _shimmers_ in the Force.

 

"What about you, offworlder?"

 

He debates for a moment before answering, "My name is- I am Kylo Ren."

 

"Well, Kylo Ren," she says, her voice returned to its teasing confidence, "what am I going to do with you?"

 

_Push me down to the ground, hold my hands over my head, and tell me how you killed him while you ride m-_

 

"Well, I was hoping we might start by you returning my weapon," he says, shoving the stray thought back into the far corner of his mind.

 

"The lightssssaber?" she asks, her voice catching and hissing on the s. "Do you think you can kill me, Kylo Ren?"

 

He gets the feeling that she's laughing at him and the thought is infuriating.He clenches his fist, but necessity stays his tongue. A breath - one, two, three - and then he exhales through his nose.

 

"I have no intention of killing you." Not _entirely_ a lie. "But if I'm going to get off this planet, I'll need a means to defend myself. And it is _mine_."

 

"That's not really how it works on Jakku," she says and, yes, she's definitely laughing at him.

 

"So, I'll just wander out into the desert, brawl like a savage, and hope for the best? If that's the case, why did you bother saving me?"

 

His patience is running thin and the good will she had accrued earlier is swiftly dwindling.

 

"You saying there's something wrong with brawling like a savage?" Crawling forward on her hands and knees and there's something… _odd_ with how she moves.He refuses to be unnerved by a girl who is most likely just trying to - to use a crude expression - fuck with him.However, he cannot stop the shiver that runs up his spine as she circles him like prey."Are you some sort of little lordling, then, to be so afraid of getting your hands dirty?"

 

_Lord Ren. Prince of Alderaan. Grandson to-_

 

"No," he bites out. "I would simply prefer to avoid unnecessary hassle when I have a perfectly serviceable weapon at my disposal."

 

"Not at your disposal though is it?" she says and then she's no longer crouching, but standing, looming over him.She throws his saber up into the air in a spinning arc before catching it in the other hand."It's at _mine_."

 

He refuses to entertain the myriad of double entendres that enter his head at that. Instead, he extends his hand, reaches out with the Force, and tries to pull it towards him as she throws it up into the air a second time.

 

It's nearly back in his grasp, but then, with her absurd speed, she reaches out a hand to catch it. "Huh. Well, that was impressive."

 

He feels anything _but_ as she returns to spinning his saber between her fingers.

 

He's debating on making a go at just physically snatching it from her hands, but he's spared from the indignity as she says, "Besides, you're going to need more than your laser sword.It won't help you through the desert and it won't help you find a ship."

 

He pauses and squints as he turns over the unexpected offer. "You're saying _you're_ going to get me a ship?"

 

"Yes, Kylo Ren.I will help you get your ship," she says before igniting his saber in front of her face.The red light flickers over her grey face, off her of large, fathomless eyes, along her two seemingly infinite rows of sharp teeth. 

 

His eyes widen and he clenches his jaw as he resists the urge to scream.

 

"Now," she says, smiling - sweetly, beautifully, _horrifically_ , "when would you like to leave?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey has some opinions on Kylo's helmet.


	3. Chapter 2 - Rey's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Rey first finds her pretty offworlder, she has half a mind to eat him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW - brief allusion to child abuse and child death

When Rey first finds her pretty offworlder, she has half a mind to eat him.She's fed well recently, though -that entourage of slavers had lasted her over a week - so she drags him back to one of her caves first to inspect her find.Jakku's desert has made her strong, but, even so, she can tell that this offworlder is _heavy._ He is a combination of tall and muscular and well-fed that is not often found on this planet, not even for those who are merely passing by, which has her…curious.

 

Her curiosity is piqued further still when she removes his helmet (useless thing - hardly worth even taking it apart) to reveal his face.His lovely, lovely face.His skin is smoother and less haggard than anyone she's ever seen before and his hair is lustrous and shiny.She brushes a few strands out of his face and wonders at its softness.He sings to her, this one, in the way beings sometimes do.She's not sure she's ever heard a song like his before, though.

 

She puts her hand against his forehead, against his cheek, trying to see how deep the desert has hurt him.He leans into her touch and mouths something against her wrist.She knows it's probably just the cold of her hands, but later, when she looks back on it, she thinks this is when she decides to keep him.

 

Rey doesn't get thirsty often, but she knows that kayakin juice is the surest and quickest way to stave off dehydration.She picks the small, prickly fruits apart with her bare hands, immune to the thorns and barbs that dig into her skin.Over and over again she squeezes them into his open mouth. She doesn't have much to compare it to, but she thinks she's not so bad at this whole saving-people-thing.

 

Even when he wakes, she mostly doesn't regret it.Sure, he's a bit lippy and _definitely_ an ungrateful little shit, but she finds she enjoys speaking with him.Indeed, it's probably the longest she's spoken to anyone in - well, possibly ever. So, no, she's not quite ready to give it up just yet - not even with his ridiculous posturing and attitude.

 

Killing the merchant doesn't take too long.She's had her eyes on him for a while, ever since she found his son's body buried in a shallow grave with the shoes taken from his small feet.She's still not hungry, so she drags the merchant's corpse into a storage unit next to his hut to save for later.She'll get it when she returns for the supplies she's leaving behind (if there's anything left by then - she's not the only scavenger on Jakku).She fills the bag with necessities and heads back, hoping he's had enough sense not to wander off in her absence.

 

There's a strange satisfaction in watching him eat - a nice, warm sensation that sits somewhere in her chest at the knowledge that _she_ has provided for him.

 

When she tells him her name, it feels odd upon her own lips (it sounds beautiful upon _his_ ). 

 

He says his name is Kylo Ren and that feels right, but it feels wrong.Fits him, but doesn't all at once.She doesn't mind the sound of it, though, so she says it a lot in the hopes that it will encourage _him_ to say _hers_.

 

(It hasn't, yet.)

 

~

 

They gather their supplies and prepare to leave at dusk.He's quieter as he drinks and eats and listens to her tell him about the major shipyards and outposts.His responses are quiet and laconic. The verbal dance is gone now and Rey doesn't know how to bring it back.

 

Perhaps she shouldn't have teased him so.

 

As they exit into the fading orange light of sunset, she feels his gaze upon her and the sensation is like knives.

 

_("Stop looking at me like that, you pathetic little rat of a child! Why did the gods curse us with such an ugly, ungrateful daughter?")_

 

This is, perhaps, the part she hates most about being around other people, and there's a bit of her that wants nothing more than to run away, to slip into the comfort of shadows and solitude.Her skin burns and crawls as his eyes trace along her face, her body.She remembers now why she so rarely speaks with others.

 

Still, she's told him she'll help him and help him she shall.She does allow herself to dart ahead, flitting across the sand in a way that others can't for some reason. One-two- _there_. Farther and farther. Too far.After only a few minutes, she realizes both his scent and his footsteps have all but faded.She rushes back and he startles slightly at the speed, but recovers quickly.

 

His hood is up, but the mask is gone (thank the thirteen gods) and his face is even lovelier in the dwindling sunlight, even as he rolls his eyes at her.

 

"Sorry if I'm keeping you," Kylo Ren says in a way that does not sound sorry at all.

 

"Not your fault," she says, drifting backwards in front of him so she can keep looking at his face. "I just- It's been a while since I've traveled these sands with anyone but myself."

 

 _It's been a while since I've_ been _with anyone but myself._

 

He nods, a quick jerk of his chin, and furrows his brows.He opens and closes his mouth a few times before his question finally escapes.

 

"And who were they? The people you traveled with before."

 

( _"Come on, Rey, keep up! Quick, girl, or everything will be gone.")_

 

"My parents," she says, barely more than a whisper. It hurts both more and less than she thought it would.

 

His eyes meet hers (or at least they try to) and she feels him reach out.His song swells within her, but hers does, too, and it's too much - she wants to hide, hide, hide.She turns and wraps her arms around herself, forcing her stride not to overtake his too quickly.

 

"What happened to them?" he says to her back and there's a softness, a gentleness that wasn't there before.It burns.

 

"They had to go away for a bit.But they'll be back, someday."

 

She smiles because she knows they will. They _will._

 

There's silence and though it's been her near-constant companion, it now feels heavy and harsh between them.

 

"What about you, Kylo Ren?" she asks, not willing to let the flow of conversation die.

 

"You can just call me Kylo; you don't have to use my full title," he says as he begins ascending the sand dune.He seems to be struggling a bit in all that get up.Poor offworlder.

 

"Well then, Kylo?"

 

"Well what?" his foot sinks too far in and he scrambles a bit.She's by his side in an instant, a hand on his elbow, around his waist, on his back.

 

He startles a bit at that, oddly fascinated with her hands…for some reason.

 

"Were you by yourself when you came her or were you traveling with someone? Do you want me to help you find them?" A horrible thought occurs to her. "Did they- were you _abandoned?"_

 

He cocks his head and peers at her, confused, although she cannot figure out what it is that he finds so confusing. "They died when our ship crashed."

 

Oh no - her poor offerworlder.

 

"I'm so sorry, Kylo."

 

"It's no matter; I didn't even know most of them. But I _will_ make the Resistance pay for their deaths."

 

Now it's her turn to be confused."What's the Resistance?" 

 

He stops dead in his tracks.

 

"You're serious?"

 

"Yes! What are they resisting?"

 

"Law. Order. Progress."

 

"Why would they do that?"

 

"Because they are _selfish_."

 

That doesn't feel quite right, but she doesn't know enough to press the matter and he seems angry enough as it is."So, when we find you a ship, who will you be going back to?"

 

He clenches his jaw and looks away. "My duty."

 

Sounds horrible.

 

"You don't have to go back, you know," she says, trying her best to sound nonchalant. "You could stay here." _With me._

 

"I would honestly rather die."

 

She clenches her fists and tries not to let that sting. "Or you could take your ship somewhere else. There are lots of planets not too far from here."

 

"He'd know.He'd come find me," he says, soft and distant.

 

"Who?" He feels afraid and she doesn't like it. She's reveled in the thrill of others' fear before…but she's not hunting now. It's wrong. It feels too close to the way the merchant's son had felt, the way she had felt when-

 

"Why are you asking so many questions?" he snarls as he whirls on her, crowding into her face, and it takes all her willpower not to respond in kind.

 

She does let herself loom over him a bit.He backs down and looks away, which soothes the growling thing inside her.

 

She does not push, does not ask him again, but files his fear away for later. She _will_ find those who are hunting him and she will _destroy them._ Her mouth waters in anticipation and she lets herself loose to drift and float in the fantasy.

 

Which is why she doesn't notice the pair of _vardakh_ approaching until they are nearly on them.Though _vardakh_ are large, scaled creatures with seven long, sharp claws on each of their six strong legs, they usually mange to scamper over the sands in relative quiet. Rey should know better, though - normally _does_ know better.

 

Even with the element of surprise, they still are no match for her speed.She fades to the right as one swipes at her. Kylo is not as fast, though, not a child of the desert, and one manages to land two claws on his upper shoulder, tearing through the cloth and drawing blood.

 

Rey sees _red._

 

She grabs the nearest one and launches it into the air.It's nearly eight feet long and over three hundred pounds but Rey is _furious_.She turns to Kylo, ready to rip the second one off of her offworlder, ready to see him wounded, see him _dead-_

 

But he's not.He must have taken her saber (well, _his_ saber, depending on your point of view) because he's holding it ignited, keeping the growling beast at bay, even as it stalks around him.It darts, springs, and with a twirling downward arc, he slashes one of its front legs off. The red light flickers on his face as he dances and it is _beautiful_.

 

The _vardakh's_ hissing, screaming howl carries on the wind, but Rey finds it hard to muster any pity.

 

 _He is_ mine - _find your own!_

 

The beast she had thrown before is baring down on her.A growling, howling scream bursts from her throat as she attacks.She tears and bites and claws at it, letting her movements blur and flutter as her mind drifts further and further away.She is not Rey.She is hunger and fear and hurt and rage.

 

She moves faster and faster as she lets herself slip. Dodge, claw, bite, shift, scratch.Everything sings loudly, brilliantly around her and she lets it flow within her to send the creature flying through the air.She rushes, presses, fades forward and towers above it, tearing into it again and again - possibly long after it has already died.

 

Her offworlder, Kylo, has fared well, too, she notices as she spots the sizzling, scattered corpse in front of him.He steps towards her, strong and confident with the saber in his hand, every inch a predator.

 

(Just like her.)

 

She's tearing at the seams even as she tries to pull herself back together. Everything sings and she's warm but not burning and she feels _something,_ feels _good._ And it's not just the hunt. He's close, then closer, but she doesn't move, even as she feels his eyes upon her.The scent of his blood reaches her nostrils and it takes all of her self control not to throw him down and lick it off him.Instead, she reaches out and tugs at the song between them.She feels him slowly, tentatively tug back.

 

"Don't be afraid," she breathes out in a voice she doesn't recognize. "I feel it too."

 

~

 

They walk in near silence for the rest of the night as she lets the fight fade away, wills herself to become Rey again. It's a softer silence, though, not the cold, awkward tension from earlier.When they come upon her old AT-AT, he stops at the entrance and raises an eyebrow at her.

 

"This isn't a ship.Not sure if it can walk, let alone fly."

 

She rolls her eyes and pokes him with her finger."We'll go to Niima tomorrow evening.For now, you need to sleep."

 

She leads him into the small living space she'd put together so long ago.She hasn't been here in…many moons.Not sure how many. It's a relief to see that it's been left largely undisturbed. To her left, Kylo stands before the wall of endless scratch marks, running his fingers up and down the grooves in enraptured fascination.

 

"What are they?"

 

"Marks," she answers laconically, although she knows that's not what he's asking.

 

"Your parents…when they left you…"

 

She feels herself tear at this and says, "They'll be back. One day. They will."

 

His gaze turns to her and his face is mournful and she can't stand it.She turns and finds her doll and clutches it to her chest, not caring if he sees.

 

"When did you stop making them?"

 

She doesn't ask how he knows she had."I got sick.Got stupid, really…didn't have enough food…I wandered out…"

 

She shivers and shimmers as her mind returns to that hard time.It's cold and her skin itches and _no no no don't think about it_.

 

"Are you alright?"

 

Yes. No. She feels naked having him see her soft underbelly like this.It's different from the cave and a slivering part of her screams that she should not have brought him here.

 

"I'm fine.Go to sleep," she says, gesturing to the small pallet on the floor.

 

He crawls in and she tries not to laugh when his long legs and large feet flop over the edge.The small blanket doesn't cover more than about three quarters of his absurdly large physique and she _adores_ the sight of it.She lets herself simmer in the warmth of this contentment as she sits and watches him stare at the ceiling, forcing his breath to slow and even out.

 

"What about you?" he asks, just as the first rays of sunrise creep through the cracks in the door.

 

"Hmm?"

 

"Don't you need to sleep?"

 

"I'm not tired."

 

She hasn't been, not in a while.

 

She doesn't remember why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thank you to everyone who has commented so far! I really appreciate it and it's incredibly helpful in motivating me to keep the update schedule I've set for myself. For those of you who are trying this out even if it isn't 100% your jam, you are braver than any US marine :-P.


	4. Chapter 3 - Kylo's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Turns out killing things together isn't half bad as far as bonding activities go.
> 
> OR
> 
> Rey and Kylo finally make their way to Niima outpost and run into a familiar face.

Kylo sleeps - long and deep and relatively peacefully.He's not sure what to make of it.Perhaps it's the exhaustion.

 

They set out as the sun begins to set and the sky starts to shift into a kaleidoscope of color.Rey stays closer to him this time, but still cannot manage to stay solid for very long. It doesn't bother him as much as it did yesterday.

 

Turns out killing things together isn't half bad as far as bonding activities go.

 

Sand still manages to get in his shoes and his outfit was definitely not designed with this type of terrain in mind, but they make better progress than they did yesterday.Kylo bites back a small smile as they (well, _he_ ) traipse across the barren landscape under the clear, starry sky.Rey is drifting and darting this way and that, but tethered closer, like his own personal kite.She hums a song he doesn't recognize and it's like she's singing with five different voices.They're all beautiful.

 

They haven't even made it to the edge of the lights cast by the lamps and fires in and around Niima outpost when Rey stops dead in her tracks.The temperature drops around them and shadows cling to her form desperately, protectively.He blinks rapidly, trying to bring her back into focus. 

 

"What's wrong?" His hand goes to his saber, though he doubts that they are in any serious danger.

 

_(Four long, wiry arms throw a snarling beast into the air as if it were nothing. Twirl, spin, here, there - she dances under the fire light.An inhuman howl rips from deep within her throat, scraping at Kylo's insides._

 

_He doesn't remember the last time he's felt this alive.)_

 

"There's so many," she whispers and her voice splits, branches into many tones, many registers. "I forgot how many there are.People.Eyes.Eyes on me…I can't…."

 

"Should we kill them?" He can see about two dozen or so, but only half of them are in any state near to physical health.How many blasters? One, two, thr-

 

"No.No, we don't have to, I just-" She takes in a deep, shuddering breath and flickers from his left side to his right and then back again.

 

He forces himself to look at her, even as her image shifts before him.She shrinks in on herself and holds her torso with an ever changing number of limbs.He can't quite hold her face in his mind, but her presence in the Force - distorted as it is on this accursed planet - feels scared and sad.

 

"Rey?"

 

Though they are still largely in the shadows, a pair of human children have spotted them.The boy points, eyes wide, clinging to his mother's skirt.The mother looks, squints, her eyesight dimmed by age.She sees them eventually, though, and the Force tightens in tension around them. A few yards away, a Twi'lek man looks up from his small stall and reaches towards what must be a weapon, nerves coming off him in waves.Further and further outwards their fear ripples and spreads.

 

"I should go.We should not have come here."

 

She starts backing up in little bursts, clutching herself tight. 

 

He likes her, he does, this weird, wispy, demon woman who's taken it into her head to help him.But he absolutely has to get the _fuck_ off of Jakku. 

 

"We don't have time for this; where are the ships? Who do I need to speak to?"

 

"There- there are ships at Niima. We should…. I should…"As her voice trails off and splinters, her form shifts and shatters even more than before and a part of him deeply sympathizes, but they _don't have time-_

 

The Force prods at him and he becomes increasingly aware of the attention they are attracting.At the fear and animosity the locals are sending their way.Well, _her_ way.

 

(It's a bit strange not being the primary target of collective negative sentiment.)

 

He fingers the hilt of his lightsaber.He's still weakened by his crash and this planet's hellscape environment…and there are a _few_ more than he feels entirely comfortable fighting on his own (judging by her near meltdown, he can't exactly count on Rey to have his back in this).Still, it _would_ solve the problem of having to _buy_ anything….Yes. Might as well just rip the bandage off and-

 

There's an icy cold grasp on his elbow that pierces through his many layers of clothing, a sharp tug behind his navel, a scraping behind eyelids and then he's transported to- Where exactly?He looks around wildly while trying not to vomit.Rey is still gripping his elbow -with enough force that her claws are nearly piercing through the thing material of his sleeves.She seems to have transported them behind some tent.

 

"What the- _What was that?"_ he hisses out through clenched teeth, willing the ground to feel solid beneath him again.

 

She doesn't answer him; he's not quite sure if she even heard him.Rolling his eyes, he reaches out in the Force.Their disappearing act, it seems, has done little to placate the villagers. Quite the opposite, in fact - their fear has begun to ramp up into full-blown panic and aggression. _Fuck._

 

"Here, this way!"

 

Kylo whirls on the owner of the voice, ready to strike them down, but desperation - and Rey - stay his hand.They're small and slight with enough of a blue sheen to their skin to indicate that they are probably not entirely human.Their hair (or whatever other options they might have atop their head) have been wrapped away in a dingy, but neatly pleated grey scarf.

 

Luckily, their presence seems to have knocked Rey at least partially out of her downward spiral."It's _you_."

 

"Yes."There's fear coming off them in waves, but beneath that - determination. _Interesting._ "Look, you can't stay here - they know what she is; they'll kill you both."

 

Kylo thumbs the hilt of his blade. "They will _try._ "

 

"You don't need to kill them!" They say, deeply alarmed. "Come on, follow me."

 

They grab his other arm and though he has missed physical connection with other people, this is definitely _not_ what he had in mind.

 

They pull them through the shadows, in and out of the makeshift alleyways, behind drooping, threadbare tents.Though he can still feel Rey clutching desperately to his arm, she's all become translucent in the darkness. "Rey, are you-"

 

"Hush, quiet!"They hiss, stopping abruptly before turning in the opposite direction."This way."

 

"Who are you? Why are you helping-"

 

"In here!"

 

There's a sharp tug as they pull them into what must be an overturned storage unit.Or possibly a dumpster, judging by the smell.

 

He opens his mouth to ask another question, but Rey's long, spindly fingers close tight over his lips.

 

Shouts, footsteps, trampling, torches - closer and closer.Kylo bristles at the indignity of hiding, but manages to stay still as they stomp noisily past them.When the sound of their voices has finally faded off into the night, Rey's grip loosens and she turns to their odd little helper and says, "Thank you."

 

"It's nothing," they mumble, "Least I could do since you- well, I don't know if you remember-"

 

"I do," Rey interrupts, earnest and _present_ in a way she hasn't been since they first caught sight of the outpost.

 

Well, it's wonderful, great, truly it is, that they're having this lovely little moment, but Kylo still has no idea who this stranger is or what their motivations are.

 

"Well, I don't," he snaps (not that this has the least bit to do with him feeling slightly left out). "Who are you? What do you want?"

 

"My name is Madgreth, and I simply meant to repay a debt," they say in a placating voice that gives him the distinct feeling he is being managed. "What about you, offworlder? Who are you and why do you walk with this one?"

 

Intellectually, he knows there's no reason why he shouldn't answer them.Doesn't stop him from staring at them, stubbornly.Which, in turn, doesn't stop _Rey_ from telling them all of his business, either.

 

"His name is Kylo Ren."Luckily, there's no flicker of recognition at the name. "And we need a ship!" Rey whispers enthusiastically.

 

A bemused, somewhat pitying smile spreads across Madgreth's lips, "Oh darling, no one is going to sell you a ship."

 

What follows is a rather heated discussion with, as per usual, not _nearly_ enough consideration given to Kylo's point of view, on whether or not they should simply kill all of the local inhabitants and take a ship.Apparently, there are at least a handful of villagers on this absolute waste of gravity that are, supposedly, good people and shouldn't be slaughtered.Also, the junk bosses - both here in Niima and some of the other, smaller, nearby outposts - have just enough heavy weaponry to be deeply inconvenient should they decide there is a threat serious enough to stop their squabbling and coordinate against.

 

It's all deeply frustrating.

 

"I'm getting off this shit-hole with or without either of your help, so what exactly do you propose we do?" he asks, standing up and out of their rusted out hiding place, just barely resisting the urge to cross his arms over his chest like a child.

 

"We could go to the graveyard; it's just back this way and should be far enough out that we won't have to worry about too many prying eyes or potential buyers.Might have to fight off the scavengers, but that was sure to be the case regardless."

 

"The graveyard?" he asks, not sure he wants the answer.He cannot _wait_ to get off this planet.

 

Ships come and go on Jakku.Well, some do, others don't; some stay to be picked to the bones.Apparently, these are dragged off to the side when it becomes clear no one is going to by them in order to make way for their moderately less grungy and run-down brethren who still have a chance of being sold.

 

They start making their way towards this 'graveyard' when Rey says, "I'll go ahead and take a look" before blurring off into the night, leaving Kylo alone with this…Madgreth.

 

The silence is awkward, but Kylo will not be the first to break it.

 

"You have been traveling with her long, then, offworlder?" they ask, peering up at him.

 

He shakes his head and wishes they didn't feel the need to force unnecessary pleasantries.His answer is short, without elaboration, hoping they will get the hint. "Only a day or so."

 

The corner of their lip curls up in a small, wry smile."For her kind, that _is_ long."

 

_That_ piques his interest."Her kind?"

 

He hasn't been able to place her species and the ignorance has been an irritant as constant and annoying as the sand in his boots and clothing.

 

"You really don't know, do you?" they ask. "Well, that explains much."

 

"Are you going to elaborate or are you just going to continue to be enigmatic and unhelpful?" Kylo _hates_ feeling stupid.

 

"I am sure we all seem the same to you, but she is not just some scavenger or hermit, offworlder.She is a _maragai_ , a cursed one."

 

He doesn't have time for backwater superstition."Do her species not excel enough at polishing broken metal to pass muster with the rest of you?"

 

"Species? No, you misunderstand.It is not her blood that makes her what she is; she was something else once, someone else.Human, probably, by the looks of her, of what she's trying to be."

 

It's absurd. "So, what, did some witch curse her?"

 

"No, the Force did," they say, not responding to his joke in kind and all of a sudden none of this is at all funny anymore.

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"They say the Force is wrong here.Broken and blighted by the battles and suffering and bloodshed.The _maragai_ are what is left of children who have died.Or should have died.They are saved from death, but at a tremendous cost.They come back hungry, monstrous, and torn between the worlds." They pause and look over to where Rey has scampered off. "When we're children, they tell us not to stray too far, lest the _maragai_ catch us and eat us.I thought it was bullshit.Apparently not."

 

It's ridiculous, the whole thing is ridiculous.They're just some illiterate peasant passing down fairytales their equally illiterate grandparents told them.It's not true, it _can't_ be.Kylo hasn't been spending his days with some dead girl.

 

(Much less _enjoying_ spending his days with some dead girl.)

 

A voice that sounds far too much like his father says, _'You're all tangled up in destiny and mystical energies and hokey religions, kid.D'you honestly think this is so different?'_

 

But before Kylo can question Madgreth further, Rey reappears in front of them with a chilly gust of accompanying wind and a smile that spreads (quite literally) from ear to ear.

 

"I've found it!I've found you a ship!Come on!" she darts back towards the graveyard, barely able to contain her excitement enough to stay in sight of them.

 

Kylo lumbers through the carcasses of ships that are probably twice as old as he is (and at least a few that might be older than the Empire) before coming upon Rey's find.

 

"Now, I know it looks a little bit worse for wear, but it's one of the few left that's got the hyperdrive capabilities to get you to any of the neighboring systems.We're going to have to gather a few things before you can go, the navigational-"

 

He doesn't absorb much else of what she says as she prattles on about what they're missing and places that might have something they can use.

 

Because what she's gesturing to … is a Corellian YT freighter.It doesn't take more than a few seconds of quick inventory of the ship's exterior to confirm what he had already suspected.

 

Rey has found him the Millennium Falcon.

 

_Fuck. No._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved Madgreth too much to not bring them back.
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who has left kudos and comments; I really appreciate it.
> 
> Next up, smut. <.<


	5. Chapter 4 - Rey's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> By Jakku's standards he's positively pampered - he's got a lovely layer of fat that she wants to dig her teeth into - but beneath that…muscle upon muscle that all bend and flex and ripple as he scrambles around in the grime and dust and sand with her.
> 
> It makes Rey feel startlingly present in her body. She's not quite sure what to do with that.
> 
> OR
> 
> The one with smut, ya pervs.

Chapter 4 - Rey Pov

 

Rey knows it's not the prettiest ship, but she's a bit surprised at the stubbornness with which Kylo resists accepting the fact that it's their best option ( _his_ best option).Though there is much eye-rolling, she indulges him and takes him to each of the other crafts in turn.She makes a point of walking him through the gaping holes in their hulls, of projecting her voice loud enough that he can hear it echo in the cavernous hole where a hyperdrive used to be.

 

The YT model, on the other hand, only has one hole that really needs patching - the rest of its exterior is just bent and singed in some (fine, _man_ y) places.Some wiring will need to be replaced and there's at least one navigation module that is completely shot and, yes, sure, they might need to swap out some of the accelerators, but _overall_ it's definitely the better choice.Pretty sure.Mostly.

 

He agrees, eventually, but the sun is nearly up and Madgreth has long since left them to return home. Something warm and bright unfurled within her when she first saw them alive and whole and relatively _well._ They're not the first person Rey has saved from monsters, but they are the first who had _seen_ her do it.It feels nicer than she thought it would.

 

She's not quite sure how it feels when _Kylo_ looks at her, though.His eyes stick more and more as he glances and peers at her throughout the following days and nights.Somehow, she knows that he's trying to see her with more than just his eyes.She thinks…maybe…she wants to let him. 

 

Force knows she looks _back_.

 

They still go out mostly at night; Kylo is an offworlder who has neither the wardrobe nor the complexion for Jakku's midday sun and Rey is…well….

 

Nevertheless, Kylo insists that they work on installing the parts that they gather during the early mornings and late evenings.Apparently, the temperature still gets hot enough during those times that he feels the need to disrobe.Or at least take off his shirt, which is still giving Rey quite an eyeful, thank you very much.By Jakku's standards he's positively pampered - he's got a lovely layer of fat that she wants to dig her teeth into - but beneath that…muscle upon muscle that all bend and flex and ripple as he scrambles around in the grime and dust and sand with her.

 

It makes Rey feel startlingly present in her body.She's not quite sure what to do with that.

 

There's something else about him, too.Something that tethers her to herself, to him.

 

When he sleeps, curled in on himself like a child, his fear reaches out to her wildly, frantically.This in and of itself is not so very strange.She's been sensitive to the emotions of others since she was small.What _is_ different…is that her fear reaches _back_.The echoes of night terrors she hasn't had in years, wounds and whispers of memories she's suffocated into silence - they all claw their way up her insides and threaten to spill out of her, into him, into the light-

 

And when they speak - she and Kylo, that is - it's not always quite what she expected.

 

"Will you go back to the Jedi when we're done?" she'd asked on the first day in an attempt to make conversation; she hasn't engaged in it much in nearly a decade, but she finds she's become quite enamored with it now.

 

"Why would I do that?" he snaps, turning on her in a potent combination of anger, fear, and confusion.

Rey's pretty sure he's overreacting, but she's also become familiar enough with him during their short time together to suspect that this is fairly standard behavior. She reacts accordingly, refusing to snap back at him, "I thought you said you had to return to your duty?"  
  
"You think _I'm_ a Jedi?" he asks, incredulous.

 

"Y-you use the Force," she says, not feeling quite as confident in her assessment anymore. "You have a lightsaber."She winces as the words leave her lips and she hears how childish they are.

 

The anger and suspicion drains from his eyes and the corner of his lip twists up in amusement."You think because I've got a lightsaber that I must be a Jedi?"

 

"Well, why do you have one?" she asks, refusing to be embarrassed. "And what's so bad about the Jedi?Aren't they supposed to be heroes?"

 

"If they're on your side, I'm sure they are," he says with a sneer. "If you're not, they take turns being incorrigible busybodies or utterly neglectful."  
  
And then lower, "And if they think you're a threat, they'll betray you in an instant."

 

_(Green light baring down on him. He should have known, he was warned. It's not fair, it's not fair I did everything you asked and it doesn't matter-)_

 

"I'm sorry," she whispers as she comes back to herself."I didn't know."

 

The sneer slides from his face and his eyes come back to the present, to her.Her response has surprised him, but she doesn't know why.

 

She thinks that maybe she should ask him what exactly he _is_ then - if not a Jedi, then what? 

 

But she doesn't. 

 

They don't talk about it again.

 

They _do_ talk about other things, though.Over the next few days, she tells him of Jakku, of the animals, of the landmarks - however few and unimpressive they may be, even of the Old Tribes that have either dwindled or mingled with the various lost souls that have found themselves here.For someone who didn't really care about Jakku not too long ago, he suddenly has a lot of questions - some of which are quite odd.

 

"Why do _you_ want to know about _maragai_?" she asks, unable to hold back a smile at someone with Kylo's demeanor asking about something so ridiculous.

 

He stares at her for a bit with that sideways, contemplative glance that he sometimes wears.She can practically see him trying out a few options before settling on "Madgreth spoke of them while you went ahead."

 

She laughs, "Were they trying to scare you?"

 

He doesn't return her smile. "Possibly."

 

She reaches over him to unhook a secondary power source, enjoying the way he doesn't try to move out of the way, even as she hears his pulse accelerate. "Did it work?"

 

This time, there is a bit of a smile. "… _Possibly._ "

 

"They're just fairytales, Kylo," she says, popping her prize into a satchel. "Things that old people say to make sure younger people do what they're told. 'Don't run off; do your chores; be quiet or else the _maragai_ will get you.' You know, that sort of thing."

 

"Madgreth said they were children.That something happened with them to make them wrong…that the Force did something to them."

 

She mulls that over, trying to wrack her brain for he scraps of stories she was told (or, more often, overheard) as a child."Well, lots of the old tales talk about the Force being wounded here.Or sick, in some.It usually has to do with too many bad things all in one place.Or sometimes just one big bad thing."She cocks her head. "I think there was a woman and a dragon in one.She dies."

 

She's being flippant, but Kylo is staring at her like she's reading scripture. She shrugs off the unease that's forming between her shoulders, "There might be one where they have a child together."Kylo raises an eyebrow at that. "Yes, I know, but you don't really ask about the logistics of these things when you're young.Anyway, after the woman dies - in childbirth, I think…I feel like that's what it usually is - the dragon is so filled with grief he tries to kill their kid, but stops himself at the last second."

 

Something passes over Kylo's face at that, but he prompts her to continue. "But of course a newborn baby's not going to last long by itself so by the time the dragon decides to come back and be a father, his baby's died.Then there's some stuff about magic - I don't remember all of it - and he brings the baby back to life.But you can't just undo death without losing something, without something being wrong, so the child is cursed.I'm not sure if it kills the dragon or not….But the curse is supposed to be passed down - maybe only if they end up in the cave where it died? I can't remember - but, yes, passed down to children who are lost or abandoned or unprotected."

 

Something pulls behind her temples and it's a bit harder to breathe. She swallows and shakes it off.

 

"That's just one of the stories, though.Like I said, there are others." He seems far too fixated on for it to be mere passing interest."What's this about, Kylo?"

He doesn't answer.

 

Rey has a wriggling, heartbreaking suspicion.She cups his cheek and he startles, but doesn't try to move away from her touch. "Kylo, that's not going to happen to you; I'm not going to let it happen to you.You're going to live and you're going to get off this planet; I promise that.And they say it only happens to children.No matter what happened when you were younger, you're too old for that now."

 

His hand slowly rises and presses against hers. "What _are_ you?How are you even r-?"

 

He doesn't have a chance to finish his sentence.A blaster bolt speeds by their heads and ricochets of the X-wing behind them.Without thinking, Rey pushes Kylo to the ground and rolls her body over him protectively.She holds him down, shielding him, even as he wriggles beneath her.Bandits.Seven, no eight of them - four of which are already on their ship.Rey snarls.

 

"Rey, let me-" but she's already up and moving. 

 

Red, green, red again - she darts in and out of the blaster fire that's coming at her from all directions.She wills her arms to lengthen and reach the first one she encounters - large and muscular and horned.

 

She throws him into the air and against the rusted, rotting frame of the Republic medical ship as if he weighs nothing.An exposed and pointed beam slices him up the back as he falls, screaming.Rey doesn't bother to check if he moves after - she knows he will die soon.

 

Two of the bandits who have already boarded her ship gesture frantically to the ones left outside, _"Kurkah to'a! Kurkah to'a! Shamjanah!'_

 

She bares her teeth as she continues to descend upon them. _You cannot outrun me!_

 

They aim and shoot and it's too late before Rey realizes that not all of them were shooting at her.She turns frantically to check on Kylo, but she needn't have worried.His hand is outstretched and two of the bolts are frozen flickering in the air between them.

 

_Beautiful. Perfect._

 

No. Focus.

 

Two of the remaining three run up into the freighter, but the third is too slow. _Right, left, right again_ \- she slashes his throat and the blood sprays out across the white sand.No time to dally, though.She launches her self up into the ship and she hears Kylo follow behind.A quick look over her shoulder - yes, he's fine, glorious even.

 

"You go left; I'll go right." Kylo barks out the orders and sprints off after his prey.

 

The bandits flee and scatter through the hallways.Rey jumps, springs, shifts after them.Heartbeats pound in her ears - hers, theirs, Kylo's.Drumming, thrumming - this is what she is _made_ for.Her limbs extend to be where she needs them and she deftly pulls herself up and over any obstacles in her path, up onto the ceiling, propelling herself forward, forward, forward.The short one stumbles, catches sight of her and _screams._  

 

" _Maragai - ki kasna maragai!"_

 

She drops from the ceiling directly onto him, pushing him back against the floor so hard that his head bounces with a loud _thunk_.She doesn't give him time to recover, no - pulls his head to the side and takes a large bite out of the flesh in the crook between his shoulder and his neck.She can taste the alcohol running through his veins and gags _._ She spits out the chunk of flesh from her mouth and wipes her lips clean with one of her arms before leaving him to bleed out.

 

She has other prey to catch.

 

The next turns to fight, raises his absurdly jerry-rigged blaster and points it at her, shaking.Before he can even fully extend his arm, she snaps his wrist, points the weapon at his face and fires. 

 

Just one left.

 

This one is smarter, uses his surroundings, but it's not enough.Rey bats away the tower of falling boxes like they are little more than pebbles.He shoots, but she merely flickers from side to side.She wills herself to appear behind him and then- The intruder's neck snaps with a satisfying crack.

 

The blaster pressed against her temple is less satisfying. 

 

She could move. Could shift and fade out of the way.But his finger is on the trigger.Is she that fast?She's not sure.

 

He never has a chance to fire, though.Kylo's red lightsaber pierces through his chest and he is dead almost instantly.Rey lets go of her prey at the same time that Kylo switches off his lightsaber and both bodies fall to the floor, limbs splayed akimbo like rag dolls.Rey doesn't look at them.She only has eyes for Kylo.

 

He was glorious as he fought - dancing and brawling, elegant and brutal.His long hair has fallen in front of his eyes, mussed and sweaty and his breath is coming in deep, gasping pants.She can hear his pulse - in her head, in her chest, on her tongue - and she doesn't have to look between his legs to know he's hard.Without breaking eye contact, she wills herself before him.She is now standing so close that their breaths mingle, but Kylo doesn't move, doesn't flinch.She raises a hand slowly to cup his cheek.Though his pulse is now galloping beneath her palm, he nuzzles into her the same as that first night.Except this time, his eyes are open and his gaze doesn't leave hers.

 

Something in Rey snaps - she's not sure if it's the hunger of the hunt, this strange connection that is growing between them, or simply the fact that she's actually allowing herself to want something - and she descends on him.

 

His lips are soft beneath hers, trembling - whether out of fear or adrenaline or arousal she can't really tell; he tastes a bit like all three.She's slow and careful, resisting the urge to devour him.He moves tentatively back against her mouth and Rey has the feeling he's as new to this as she is, as absurdly improbable as it seems.She draws her thumb slowly along his chin, under his jaw, down his throat. 

 

He shivers and swallows beneath her touch before surging against her.His hands fly to her face, cupping her cheeks, before jolting back as if burned.She stares into his eyes, breathes in his breath, and nuzzles her nose against his."It's alright," she assures him (she assures herself).

 

"Is it?" he asks, but he doesn't wait for an answer before closing his eyes and pressing his lips back against hers, weaving his fingers into her hair with renewed fervor.She opens her mouth against his and sucks - first gently, then harder - on his plump lower lip.His stifled moan is the most beautiful sound she's ever heard.He scrapes his fingers at the back of her neck, sending a tingling sensation down her spine and prompting a moan of her own.

 

She must also have bitten down because there's a rush of blood against her tongue and it tastes so good she needs more, more, more-

 

His head bounces against the pillow and he looks up at her in shock, his lovely hair fanned out and haloing his face.His pupils are blown wide and a small trickle of blood is making it's way down his chin.His eyes dart around in confusion. "Wh- what?Where- how-?"

 

Oh. Right.She supposes she _had_ moved a bit fast. She manages to breathe out "Bed?" and it's only a little bit of a question.

 

For a moment, he looks like he wants to press the point, but, instead, he relaxes into the musty threadbare bedding with his wrists just above his ears.His tongue darts out to lick at his own blood while he gazes up at her.

 

So, so lovely.

 

She should be doing something.

 

She peals the layers off him slowly, but still manages to cut and tear bits of fabric here and there in her excitement.He doesn't seem to mind.

 

When he's finally bare in front of her, she runs her hands slowly up and down his torso.His nipples harden beneath her icy-cold touch and when she traces a single finger a long his collarbone, his eyes flutter shut and his head arches back into the pillow.

 

She leans down and slowly traces the same spot with her tongue before blowing on it. "Ah- _ah_ ," he huffs out beneath her, hands still vaguely above his head, working into the sheets as if he's physically restraining himself from moving them. 

 

_Good._

 

She kisses her way down his chest until she reaches his left nipple.She sucks the whole thing into her mouth.

 

( _Blood rushing into her mouth, the feel of flesh giving way between her jaws.Don't bite, don't bite, don't bite.)_

 

He thrusts his hips up against her and chants "Fuck, fuck, fuck" as her teeth lightly graze against his skin.

 

He's so breathtakingly alive beneath her.

 

She leans back on her haunches to admire him (and to grind more firmly against his erection beneath her).His eyes snap open at her movement and he lifts his head up every so slightly to look at her.

 

She takes one of his hands and lifts it to her mouth before sucking in a single finger.His eyes flutter, but remain open, determined to look at her. _What a good boy._

 

When she's tongued it to her satisfaction, she takes it and places it against her own chest. 

 

_Touch me. Make me feel something._

 

He tentatively runs the wet digit back and forth.She can feel the texture, feel the dampness.She closes her eyes and grasps at the hint of pleasure her body feels. _Please, please._

 

The sharp pinch he gives her is a jolt to her system.Her nerves flicker and sizzle and _oh-_

 

_"Again,"_ she breaths out.He does, but it's not quite the same.He moves to her other nipple and there's _something_ but-

 

He sits up abruptly, gives her a slightly nervous, almost shy glance, before taking one of her breasts almost entirely in his mouth.It's hot and wet and then "Oh, _fuck._ "

 

He's bitten down _hard_ and her nerves burst alive, sending waves of pleasuring radiating outwards.He detaches and looks up at her, nervous, "Are you alright? Did I-"

 

"Perfect, you're perfect- more…I- _please"_

 

He obeys almost instantly, bless him, and nearly presses his nose flat as he dives back with enthusiasm.His thick, strong arms wrap around her torso and press her closer to him, as if he's trying to smother himself in her chest.She smiles at the thought.

 

She loses herself in the newfound sensation; everything is so _warm_ \- warmer, somehow, than the brightest Jakku sun, but not burning, no - simmering.She's floating, but still present, still _Rey._  

 

When she feels ready, she reaches behind herself and grabs his wrists, prying him off her and pushing him back down onto the bed, pressing his arms firmly above his head.He's lovely all stretched out beneath her, pupils blown wide even though it was mostly _he_ who had been pleasuring _her._

 

"Stay," she says, letting go of his wrists.He lets out a shuddering breath and obeys.

 

She tugs his trousers down and off his legs, leaving a few small rips and scratches in her haste.He blushes and looks away now that he is fully exposed, even when she takes him in hand.His breath is coming in sharp gasps and his pulse is racing at a gallop.She's knows generally what is supposed to follow, but she has a feeling she wasn't just supposed to shove it in and sink down, judging by the way his eyes go wide and all the air goes out of him in a huff.

 

His wrists twitch and his fingers flex as if he means to grab at her, but he remembers his orders and resists. _So good_.

 

She leans over him and caresses his face to show her approval, running a thumb along his lower lip.

 

Slowly, she raises herself up, nearly off him before sliding back down.He sucks in a shaking, shuddering breath. Rey does it again and he scrunches his eyes shut, biting his lip.She increases her pace, chasing the vague sensation of pleasure between her legs.He's definitely enjoying it, though, and his pleasure bleeds across the bond they have.

 

_Rey, Rey, so strong and fierce, all around me, yes yes._

 

"Bite me," he gasps out.She's so lost in his mind and the rhythm of their bodies that it takes a while for the words to register.

 

"I don't want to hurt you."

 

(It's mostly not a lie.)

 

"I bit _you_ ," he grits out on a moan, " _please._ "

 

He did, didn't he? But it's different, she _knows_ it's different, but she doesn't know _why._

 

_(Blood on her lips, down her throat. A pulse speeding then slowing to a stop.It's easy, too easy.)_

 

She threads her fingers through his, presses his hands deep into the bed, finds that perfect angle and then-

 

It's gentle, as gentle as she can manage, not the furious, snapping bite she's accustomed to, but she pierces through.There's blood, pain, pleasure - it's all flooding through her.

 

_(Warm arms, his mother's perfume, "Oh, Ben, I've missed you!"_

 

_She's found a hyperdrive!That should get enough portions for three moons at least._

 

_A whispering, scathing, soothing voice in his head, "They fear you.They'll grow to hate you.Why are you even trying?"_

 

_Breaking glass.Shouting.She presses her hands hard against her ears and hums, rocking back and forth, back and forth._

 

_Burning, burning, burning.He's seen it a thousand times in his dreams, but now it's real and he did it.He was always going to end up here._

 

_Hunger, scraping at her insides.They were supposed to be back by now.She doesn't know where else to look.)_

 

She lets go, sits up and arches her back, bracing against the swelling song within her.Her eyes are screwed shut and her mouth is open slightly and his blood is dripping down her lips, down her throat. She might be crying.She's shuddering, shimmering, but still above him, hands braced on his chest.

 

_What's happening? What's happening? I don't understand._

 

He sits up quickly, wraps one arm around her waist, and buries his face in her chest as he thrusts up desperately into her.He's mouthing something into her skin, but she can't quite tell what.She winds her fingers in his lovely silky (if rather sweaty) hair and gives it a short, sharp tug.

 

That's all it takes.

 

_"_ Rey, oh _fuck."_

 

There are three sharp thrusts before he buries and grinds himself inside her.She holds him tight as he throbs and spills and pulses within her.When he's fully spent, he falls back against the pillows with his arms still wrapped possessively, desperately around her.She nuzzles into his neck and licks lazily at the wounds she herself had inflected on him.

 

He hums sleepily in response and strokes her hair gently.It's nice.

 

His breathing slows and evens out; his arms loosen around her and fall to his sides.She slides off him, lets him turn to the left and curl in on himself - his usual sleeping position. She wraps both (all four) of her arms around him and, for the first time since she was ten years old, she drifts slowly off to sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm going to TRY to get the next chapter up by this upcoming Friday, but I might have to push it back by one week. 
> 
> Thank you again SO SO much to everyone leaving comments and kudos. They fuel me more than you can possibly know.


	6. Chapter 5 - Kylo's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He'd seen her face. Before. Not just child-Rey, but her. The now her. The her that could have been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record, there was supposed to be zero smut in this chapter.

Kylo wakes slowly, still covered in sweat and blood and cum.He reaches up a hand to touch the bite mark on his shoulder.The blood is dry, but it still stings at the touch.His cock jumps in interest.He can practically hear the medical droid that he's become all too familiar with lecturing him on allowing wounds to heal properly, but he doesn't care.He bites his lip as he fingers the wound, tracing the punctures from each tooth.

 

_It was real.She was real._

 

With that thought, he's suddenly aware of two pairs of long, wiry arms wrapped around him.There's a nose at the nape of his neck as well, huffing out cold puffs of air on each exhale, spreading goosebumps out over his skin.

 

_What are you Rey?Why is the Force connecting us?_

 

He can't unsee it.The tiny human girl crying while her parents fought.The smell of stale booze.The hunger.

 

_Oh, Rey, what happened to you?_

 

He doesn't know, isn't sure, but he has some idea and it definitely involves Madgreth being a lot less stupid than he thought they were.

 

His thoughts don't have time to solidify much further because she's awake now, yes, and has started placing soft kisses up and down his neck, sucking softly on the spot behind his ear.(He's not ashamed of them the way he thought he would be.)

 

One hand has slipped its way up his abdomen.Her claws scratch lightly on the way up and more blood rushes to his groin.One finger circles gently around his nipple, which quickly hardens under her icy touch.

 

" _Rey."_

 

"Hello," she purrs, and he can feel her smile.Her voice has two tones this morning - one higher, almost girlish, the other a low rumble, vibrating in harmony.

 

He tries to turn to touch her, but she pulls one of her other hands tight across his waist, clutching him to her, "Shhh, let me."

 

The finger on his nipple continues to circle, switching back and forth between claw and calloused pad in a rhythm that is driving him insane.It only gets worse when yet another hand finds his other pectoral and cups it lovingly.Her palm is _freezing_ and the shock has him gasping.

 

"I've got you, you're alright," she soothes even as she works to set his every nerve alight.

 

_Is it?You might be dead, but you feel so alive, make_ me _feel so alive.You're not supposed to be real, but you are you're here I can feel you I-_

 

_"_ Ah- oh, _fuck-"_ he grits out as one of her hands wraps itself around his cock.She hasn't let up her assault on his chest and yes, there's a fourth hand trailing slowly up his thigh in a meandering zigzag pattern.She presses herself tight against him as she continues fracture and expand her existence to caress what feels like every inch of him.

 

"You're so beautiful like this," she whispers into his ear before giving it a quick bite.He doesn't thinks she breaks skin, but he wouldn't mind if she did. He tries not to preen under her praise.

 

She runs her thumb around the head of his cock and he scrunches his eyes shut.He should hold out longer, last longer, but he's one pulsing nerve alight with sensation and she's all around him and could kill him in an instant, but she won't, he knows that (how does he does he know that?) she's so strong and she'll protect him he can let go he can he-

 

" _Rey,"_ he cries out. To warn her, to beg for mercy - he doesn't quite know.

 

He'd seen her face.Before.Not just child-Rey, but _her._ The now her.The her that could have been.She had flickered before him, above him, peeking through from another world like an angel (like a ghost) as she'd arched her back in pleasure.The woman he'd seen had been soft and small - well, soft _er_ and small _er_ , but just as fierce.Hazel eyes, not yellow.She was beautiful.Is beautiful.Could have been beautiful.

 

He doesn't know if he would have wanted her more or less.

 

She's whispering so gently, so lovingly into his ear, "I've wanted to have you like this since I first saw you without your shirt."

 

_You do, you do have me._ He doesn't say it aloud, but he thinks it so fiercely and clearly that he's sure she must know.His mind latches onto her turn of phrase and the way their bodies are slotted together and it takes a short detour down to a shop on Coruscant.He's toyed with the fantasy of being taken like that before, but how much better would it be with Rey, who could curl her whole body around his considerable frame while pounding into-

 

As if she's read his mind, she grinds herself against his backside while wrapping yet another hand gently around his throat.

 

He lets go as bliss rushes through him and his mind floats.

 

_(Snoke laughing."Foolish child."_

 

_He's not talking to Kylo._

 

_Rey, smaller, human, hair plastered to her head by the relentless rain. And Luke - "Did you do it? Did you try to murder him?"_

 

_Soft firelight reflecting off the cold, barren walls of a First Order ship._

 

_Snoke's torso falling from his waist as he's cut in half by a brilliant, blue lightsaber._

 

_"You're not alone."_

 

_"Neither are you."_

 

_His own voice. "I know what I have to do."_

 

_And then hers, soft and intimate. "Ben.")_

 

He comes with something between a shout and a sob.

 

She strokes him as he pulses through his peak and wraps her manifold limbs around him like a cocoon. He's crying, but he's too spent to care.He's facing away from her; maybe she won't notice and he'll escape with his dignity.He shudders as she croons something in a language he doesn't recognize and it's lovely.

 

"Come with me," he murmurs against her thumb as she strokes his lip.

 

She smiles and huffs out a laugh, "I'm alright; maybe next time."

 

It takes a moment for his mind to catch up."No, I- that is-" He's flustered for a moment, wondering if he should feel inadequate or not. "I meant you should come with me.On the ship.When I leave, that is."

 

There's silence and then- "I can't."

 

He's embarrassed then angry (a cycle that is all too common). "Why not?"

 

Her embrace loosens and arms flicker out of existence as she retreats into herself. "I have to stay here, Kylo."

 

He turns to look at her. She is very firmly herself. Grey skin stretch slightly too tight across her wide mouth and sharp teeth are digging into her lower lip.Her golden eyes refuse to meet his, but he does not avert his gaze even as she flickers and shifts before him.He's going to see her face when she rejects him (just like everyone else has)."You don't.You could come with me.We're meant to be together; surely you can see that?"

 

"Kylo, don't, please-"

 

"We could fix so many things, Rey.We could kill him and then we could change it all-"

 

"Who?"

 

He doesn't answer her, plows on ahead. "I saw it; did you?"

 

"I saw some things," she says slowly, uneasily."But, Kylo, listen, I want to help you, I do, but I have to stay here.I-"

 

"There's _nothing_ for you here," he grits out.It's cutting and caustic and far more hurtful than he was intending, but he doesn't back down.

 

"That's not true," she says, shaking her head back and forth like a child.

 

"It _is,_ " he barrels ahead. "Everyone on this Force-forsaken planet wants to kill you besides Madgreth.And _you_ want to kill at least half of _them_.What are you waiting for?"

 

"My PARENTS!" she snarls out and her voice fractures into dozens of tones and her face becomes fully obscured by a choking, freezing, dark shadow.

 

He refuses to be afraid.

 

"They threw you away like _garbage!_ "

 

"They didn't!"

 

"They did," he sees so much even as her mind withdraws from his."They left you to die.You were strong, smart, but not strong enough."

 

_"Stop!"_ It's a sob, a scream, hundreds of voices scraping at Kylo from the inside.He wants to stop, he does, but he can't; it's too late.

 

"You were so little.You couldn't bring the pieces back to the junk boss.You were so hungry."

 

She's crying and shaking her head and shrinking before his eyes and it's breaking his heart, but he doesn't stop as the images batter his mind. "You went out father than you ever had before.There was a cave.You never left it."

 

"I did!" She's sobbing now and he wants to hold her, but it's him that's hurting her - he knows that, but he _can't fucking stop._ "I did! I made it out. I'm here. I left. I made it. I'm _here._ "

 

"You did," he agrees and he cannot stop himself from lifting a hand to wipe away a tear that is streaming down her cheek."But something happened, didn't it?"

 

"I- it was cold. And then it wasn't. I don't- I- But I'm fine.I was _fine_.I'm strong.I can take care of myself!"

"You can," he soothes before continuing. "But something happened to you Rey.Something horrible happened to you because _your parents sold you for drinking money!"_

 

He doesn't mean to shout at her, but he is.Her parents are vile. He suspects that they're dead, but he wants to kill them all over again.And she clings to them - _why?_

 

"They'll come back for me! They will. They will, they _will!"_

 

He extends his hand and the small mirror his father had used for shaving flies out from a drawer in the 'fresher and into his hand.He forces it in front of her face.

 

"Look, Rey!Look at what they did to you!"

 

He sees her eyes slide to her own image and, for a heartbeat or two, it's as if she's completely disappeared.The whole room has gone frigidly cold - so cold that Kylo's breath comes before him in small puffs of icy mist.When she reappears before him, her eyes are wide, wider than before with shock and horror.Her hand comes up and touches her mouth before jerking away.She flexes her jaw, then cringes from the mirror at the site of her own teeth.She claps one hand, then another, then _another_ over her mouth in horror.

 

The third hand, as expected, does not help the situation.

 

The Force clenches, writhes, _screams_ around them. Images flit across their bond, but they're too fast; he can't hold onto any of them, but he can _feel_ them, feel the claustrophobic desperation, despair, and betrayal.

 

_Don't you see, Rey?They did this to you.They turned you into this.But I don't care.Come with me and we can fix everything.We fix places like Jakku.It'll be alright._

 

She doesn't seem to feel any of this.Rather, she's shaking, burning, freezing, flickering in and out of darkness before him."Rey, stop.Rey it's _alright_."

 

She doesn't hear.She's shaking her head, shaking her body, recoiling from him, from herself from everything.

 

_"Rey!"_

 

She screams and something shatters - inside him, inside herself.She launches herself away from him and flickers out of his vision.

 

Kylo jumps up, ignoring his own nakedness, and hurtles down the hallway.He launches himself over the corpses, but he can't see where she's gone.He can't feel her.There's nothing.A door slammed shut.

 

What has he _done?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometime you gotta find a way to work some mentions pegging into a fic even if you don't manage to find a place for actual pegging.
> 
> (Although there might be some sort of outtake fic on that front; stay tuned...)


	7. Chapter 6 - Rey's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Run. Memories threaten to surface, truths shout at her from the recesses of her mind. She outruns them all. She doesn't know where she's going. She doesn't know who she is. She's shattering, flying apart.
> 
> A lone voice cries out in the desert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! So while the total chapter count on this still says 9, there's a chance that I might combine the final two chapters into one. That means the next chapter MIGHT be the last one!
> 
>  
> 
> !! Quick TW !!
> 
> There is a passing, very oblique mention to CSA in this chapter (not Rey or Kylo). If you would like more information of any sort to help you navigate this chapter in a way that's safer for you, please let me know!

_Rey!_

 

A man's voice.And another's.And another's.All of them calling out to her across time and space.It doesn't matter.She stops for none of them.

 

_Come back!_

 

A man's voice.A little boy's.A little girl's.(Her own?)All of them echo around her, within her.She slips like sand between her own fingers.Floats, flickers.She doesn't hold herself back anymore as she rushes across the sand.She doesn't know where she's going.She doesn't know who she is.

 

_(Wide, yellow eyes, brimming with tears.Teeth.Rows upon rows of long, sharp teeth.And her hair-)_

 

_("If I just wear it the same, they'll be sure to know it's me!")_

 

_("They threw you away like_ garbage _!")_

 

Run. Run.

 

_("Why do_ you _want to know about Maragai?")_

 

She takes in a deep, shuddering breath that ends in a sob of despair. _"No!"_

 

The word tastes like blood in her mouth - delicious, _vile._ She gags, stumbles, falls to her hands and knees.Rushes back to her body and feels every grain of sand beneath her hands.All four of them. _Help me!Thirteen gods, please, help me!_

 

She jumps to her feet and wills the extra limbs out of existence, then wraps the remaining two arms around herself.Lets out a low (high), soft (piercing) wail. (Too many voices - which of them are hers?) A third hand appears to stifle the sound, but she jumps back from herself in horror and revulsion.

 

_Rey! Rey, where are you?_

 

His voice, his presence reaches across the bond they share.She pushes back, pushes him out.(Pushes _herself_ out.)

 

Run.Memories threaten to surface, truths shout at her from the recesses of her mind.She outruns them all.She doesn't know where she's going.She doesn't know who she is.She's shattering, flying apart.

 

A lone voice cries out in the desert.

 

~

 

She doesn't know how long she's been in the cave.Maybe she never really left.She raises one claw and scratches marks into the stone. _Scratch, scratch, scratch._ She didn't keep track of the days; she has to keep track of the days. _Scratch, scratch._ She needs to know how long it's been. _Scratch._ It's been too long, but she has to try. _Scratch._

 

She doesn't notice when he appears behind her." _Rey._ "

 

Scratch.

 

"Rey, talk to me," he says, more plea than command. 

 

It occurs to her that his lightsaber is ignited, bathing everything in a soft, flickering red light."Are you going to kill me, Kylo?"

 

"What? No - no, of course not.But not all of us can see in the dark."

 

A slightly hysterical giggle bursts out of her at that.

 

_Get a grip._

 

_("There's something_ wrong _with that child.")_

 

_Stop it._

 

He lets her piece herself together in silence, a fact for which she is deeply grateful.

 

"By the time I found this cave, I'd been without food for over a week," she says and it's like someone else is speaking."The sites I knew…the ones my parents had shown me…they were claimed- I was too little to fight them off and…. So I looked farther than I'd been before.I got lost.It was so hot and I was _so thirsty._ And this cave…it was like it was calling out to me…."

 

She trails off as she runs her hand across the smooth stone, lost in past horrors.

 

_("I don't give out portions for free,_ girl. _")_  

 

_("Just let me have this one! Please!"_  
  
"Find your own, sand-rat!")

 

One breath.Another.Cold stone beneath her fingers. _It's over now._

 

"Then what happened?" he whispers, as if any loud noise might spook her.He's probably not wrong.

 

"I don't know."Her voice breaks.(She breaks.)"Everything hurt so much.I was so hungry.And thirsty.And _tired._ So I went to sleep.I-I _dreamt."_

 

_(Walking down a pathway - narrow and treacherous.On either side of her, broken mirrors.Distorted voices calling out.Faces…melting.Scenes playing out then reversing.Over and over again.She can't look away, walks towards them.Burning and screaming.Maybe she can fix it, if she just-Hands press against the cracked glass, bleeding as they push through.Grab at her.Pull her under into the oozing, shifting dark.)_

 

"And then I woke up," she says matter-of-factly.Like it was nothing.Because, at the time, it _had_ been nothing.Pain.And a surprising lack of it.Hunger.So, nothing new, really.

 

"I went back to Niima.There was a junk boss, The Blobfish, we called him.Unkar Plutt.He was the one my parents s-" her voice breaks and she has to try again."He was the one my parents sold me to."

 

He wants to stop her, she can tell, but he holds himself back.He knows she needs to do this.

 

"I was so angry when I found him.He was alone, cleaning up at the end of the day, counting his profit.Piles and piles of food that he kept from everyone."She takes in a deep breath in a dizzying combination pleasure and disgust. "I enjoyed it."

 

She looks at him, but his expression betrays nothing.Just that steady, evaluating gaze.

 

_You should hate me. Why don't you hate me?How could you let me touch you?_

 

She should stop talking.She should, but she doesn't."He was the first.I should have known; it was so _easy._ " A breath."He wasn't the last. But you already knew that."

 

"Yes."A fact.It doesn't bother him.She wants it to bother him.Maybe.

 

"I don't remember how many people I've killed.I don't remember if they were all bad."

 

Tears have started to flow slowly down her cheeks.She feels her form shifting, her face shifting, and she's not sure what abomination Kylo sees before him.Still, he just looks at her mournfully and says _nothing._

 

"I'm a _monster,_ " she grits out, an accusation leveled at him as much as herself.

 

"No, you're not. Not to me."

 

It's soft and gentle.He reaches out and wipes away her tears with his thumb.Her heart aches and she doesn't think she's ever scavenged anything as wonderful as him.

 

"Why didn't I notice? How could I not notice?"

 

He doesn't answer at first and his gaze slips from her face to a space slightly to her right, to the cave wall, to something only he can see.

 

"You're not the only one who knows how to lie to yourself." 

 

She blinks back a flinch, but it's true, isn't it?Ages upon ages of lies.Impressive, really, if it weren't so pathetic.

 

He keeps going. "Came by it honestly, though.My parents, everyone I've ever known has lied to me.About everything.Everything that mattered.They pretended they weren't afraid of me - that they didn't see _him_ every time they looked at me."

 

She's having trouble following. "Who?"

 

"Darth Vader.He was my grandfather and no one bothered to _tell_ me, even as they knew that I needed…that I was _struggling_ with-"

 

"I'm sorry, who?"Rey feels like she should know.He says it like she should know.Maybe she did once, heard it in passing with her parents around a fire pit.But she can't place it, can't nail down its significance.

 

"Darth Vader? Surely you can't-" his confusion fades into amusement and het lets out a wry snuff of laughter."Of course.Perhaps the one person in the whole galaxy who doesn't know that name."

 

"Was he bad?" The question sounds stupid, she knows it does, but she doesn't back down.

 

The corner of his lip turns up in a humorless smile. "Depends on who you ask."

 

"I'm asking you."

 

He cocks his head and considers the question in silence."When I was a child I would have said yes.Until recently, I would have said no.Now…now, I don't know.He ended the Jedi, helped bring about the rise of the Empire."

 

Both of those sound pretty bad to Rey, but she doesn't comment, remembering his not-so-positive opinions on the Jedi from earlier.And lecturing him on a man she hadn't really heard of before now seems a bit much considering, well… _considering._

 

"The point is," he continues. "They lied about it. About that and so many things.And I let myself believe it all.That I was going to go off and be the perfect Jedi.That if I just tried hard enough they'd stop being afraid of me.But it didn't matter.Nothing I did mattered.In the end, I was wrong and he was right and I-"

 

"Who?" She's lost track again.He seems to be talking to himself as much as (if not more than) to her and it feels like at least half of that conversation isn't going on aloud.

 

"Snoke," he says in a whisper so soft it's as if he's afraid of summoning this person.Maybe he is. "Ever since I was a child, he'd warned me that it would happen.That they would turn on me."

 

"He sounds a bit...creepy."She's fully aware of the irony even as she says it, but she stands by this statement. "Did your parents know he was saying these things to you?"

 

"No," he answers, but she can tell he's never actually considered the question before. "I mean, I don't think so.I don't know if they even knew who he is."

 

That doesn't track. "How could they not notice a strange man disparaging them to their child?"

 

Her parents are hardly shining examples, but she's pretty sure even they would have noticed a stranger continually approaching her over the years for no discernible reason. Probably.

 

"Well, for the most part, he was in my head."His face shifts through a number of emotions and she can tell he's not quite used to defending them.

 

"Well, that's definitely creepy."She doesn't know his parents and, sure, maybe there's a little bit of projection on her part in hoping that the fault doesn't fully lie with them, but she _does_ know that strange men whispering horrible things to children is _not okay._

 

_("I've helped her!I didn't do anything wrong; she wanted- let me go!"_

 

_He's a liar and a monster, but he believes it.He can't see the horror of what he's done.He's not sorry about it and he won't stop._

 

_She rips his head from his shoulders.She should have found him sooner.)_

 

He catches some of her thoughts and shakes his head in denial.

 

"It wasn't like that.It's not the same thing."

 

Maybe not.But maybe it's not so different as Kylo supposes, either.

 

_"I'm not like that!"_ he insists.

 

His voice is not like hers.There's just the one, low and rumbling. Still, she thinks she hears a young boy's behind his. _Oh, Kylo what did he do to you?_

 

She presses, doesn't push, yet the images come and swarm around her.She sees so much.Every crooning promise, every harsh rebuke.A shriveled, yet towering presence grasping him tight.

 

"He's the one who won't let you go," she says with chilling, trembling realization.

 

He doesn't say anything, but that alone is enough answer for Rey.She thinks she hates this Snoke.She's halfway through a particularly graphic fantasy of disemboweling him when-

 

"I thought it didn't matter.That I had nowhere else to go, no one else to turn to, anyway.That it was my destiny to be-" He closes his eyes. "You say that you're a monster.Maybe I am too."

 

His gaze snaps to hers with startling intensity. "Rey, what if I chose _wrong?_ I thought this whole time that I needed to-That I was-"He shakes his head; against what, Rey cannot quite tell."I enjoyed it, too, you know.Even before, I was never going to be what they wanted me to be. But maybe I didn't have to-Rey, I thought I had no _choice,_ but I saw-I think that maybe, now, with you…."

 

She tries to piece together what he's saying, tries to pull out what he's _not_ saying.He was right.They are alike.Perhaps he needs help with this truth, too.

 

Gently, she says, "Tell me what you need, Kylo."

 

"The Force showed me something.A path I didn't know existed.Together, we…together, I think we can defeat him.I know it.I _saw_ it."

 

He wills her to see what he's seen.Strong, powerful, a dance.Cut him down and rise victorious.  But-

 

"Kylo," she says, voiced tinged with sorrow and regret. "I want to help, but that's not me.I'm not her.And I can't _be_ her for you."

 

She's done pretending.

 

"You don't have to be," he says desperately, stepping close, so close to her. Her beautiful offworlder. "I promise, you don't.You don't have to be anyone else.Just you."

 

She thinks he thinks he means it.But she's seen herself.Knows herself.Well, is _beginning_ to know herself.She's not a savior, flying in on a magical starcraft to save him from a dragon.

 

No. Rather, she _is_ the dragon.She doesn't say that."I've been here so long.When I told you I couldn't leave, I don't know if I was lying."

 

He cradles her face in his large, strong, _warm_ hands, as if she's something delicate and precious rather than a walking nightmare."You can.I'll _help_ you."

 

She lets out a mirthless laugh that verges on a sob."The stories never say anything about the _maragai_ who gets to run off with the handsome prince and go on adventures.What if it's not possible?What if I'm trapped here?"

 

He doesn't miss that she's called him handsome and gives her a shy smile. "Sometimes, stories are wrong."

 

And then he kisses her full on the mouth.

 

_Oh.Okay.Right then._

_Time to get off of Jakku._

 

 

_We've got a monster to slay._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus points to anyone who caught the very very very oblique reference to Rebels that I put in here despite not having seen any episodes of Rebels.
> 
>  
> 
> As I said, there might be one more chapter after this or two - you'll know next week ;-) Regardless, we're getting close to the end! 
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who has left kudos or comments on this story. It has honestly kept me going and I appreciate it more than I can say. Thank you also to those that have spread this on tumblr and twitter. Basically, to all of my readers - a huge thank you!
> 
>  
> 
> One last mini-poll: I know I talked about (eventually) doing more outtakes etc in this 'verse. Should I add this fic to a series now so people can subscribe, even if I might not write more works for quite a while or should I wait until I publish another work?


	8. The End - Rey and Ben POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As they leave the ground and pull further and further from Jakku's desert sands, Rey wonders if she's going to die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's here! The final chapter! Thank you so much to everyone who read, commented, and left kudos. 
> 
> I won't have time to add more works for a while, but I have added this story to a series. In the future, any outtakes, alternate takes, and/or sequels will go in there (if you are interested and want to subscribe).

Rey and Kylo walk back to the Falcon hand in hand.She doesn't shift, doesn't fade, feels solid beneath his fingers.He gives hers a little squeeze.She squeezes back.

 

He smiles and tries not to be too excited, but it's so hard when the Force is singing, triumphant (if muted and slightly distorted) around them. He's going to be free for the first time in his life.Free, but not alone.And he thinks…maybe…for all that he'd hurt her…that he could be helping her, too.The idea is a pleasant one.

 

She tells him things, small morsels she rations out over the long walk back.He listens, bleeding for her and the child she was, as she draws more and more poison from her own wounds. 

 

Pieces fit together to form a picture that makes Kylo ashamed of his own childhood.Here is the alcohol that soothed some wounds, but made more.Here are the fights that started with words and ended with fists.This is where her parents left her the first time.This is the time she nearly fell to her death.

 

But it's not all bad.She tells him of watching the races, shielded from the sun by her mother's shawl.Of dances and songs around fires, clapping and laughing on her father's knee.

 

Somehow, it makes the bad things worse.

 

He tells her things, too.He's reluctant, at first; he _knows_ his pain sounds petty and absurd next to hers.But he tries, gives voice to things he's never told anyone.He owes her this.

 

He was an angry child - angrier, even than his parents knew.It scared him, the things he used to imagine.Hurting the politicians who took his mother away.Lashing out at the nannies he was left with.But nothing was nearly so terrifying as the visions of violence against his mother and father that his small mind would conjure up. _Hold it in.Hold it in.I don't actually want to hurt them, please!_

 

And he didn't. Mostly. His toys had not always been so lucky.

 

It's possible that Snoke had not helped the situation.He hadn't thought so at first.No, it had been nice to have a presence to keep him company when his parents were gone.They'd played games.He'd told Ben stories. When Ben would complain, he was always there with a sympathetic ear. 

 

Perhaps too sympathetic.

 

It wasn't until later that Ben started losing track of where his thoughts ended and Snoke's began.The lack of privacy had grated, too, but he'd felt guilty whenever the thought had arisen.

 

_("I just want to look out for you, my child.Someone has too.Your family certainly won't.")_

 

"What about now?" Rey asks, a whisper, tugging him back to the present, to the shifting sands of Jakku.

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"Is he- Is he _here? Now?_ "

 

Huh. Kylo hadn't really thought of it. He'd been so used to Snoke's presence he'd just assumed he was still there.And he was, to an extent.But there was something about this planet. (Maybe something about Rey, herself.)The constant muttering has been reduced to a warped, wordless hum, liking trying to listen from deep underwater.As for his own thoughts… He'd been so swept up in Rey's glowing, brilliant presence in his mind, in the effortless, painless sway back and forth between them.The lack of Snoke's incessant poking and prodding had gone largely unnoticed.

 

"I- Yes, in a way.But not like before.The Force - there's something…corrupted about it here.I think it's stopping him from connecting with me fully.Maybe that's what-"

 

He stops before his foot has been fully inserted into his mouth.Nevertheless, Rey still manages to put the pieces together.

 

"Maybe that's what made me?"

 

He nods, not trusting himself to avoid ruining things further.

 

~

 

When they finally make it to the ship, it's nearly sunrise, but Rey insists on dragging each of the bodies out into pile, arranging them into some ceremonial fashion and burning them.

 

(If she's honest, she _had_ thought about eating them. However, the temptation is - for the moment, at least - not as appealing as she thought it would be.)

 

By the time the last panel is attached and the final system is calibrated, the sun is fully up.Light floods the Falcon's hallways.It's beautiful, idyllic.It feels like Rey is being flayed alive.

 

They could leave now, technically. The ship is ready to go.Might be safer, even - less chance of bandits.She's not ready yet.She doesn't think he's ready yet, either.

 

She feels his reluctance and pulls him gently back into the shadows."You should sleep."

 

He traces a single finger softly down her cheek. "Perhaps."

 

He leans in to kiss her again.His lips are soft and slow, trembling and careful- as if they hadn't already had sex twice already.She holds herself back as well, resists the urge to slam him into the opposite wall.His fingers weave into her hair as he opens his mouth and licks gently at her lips.Then, achingly slowly, he takes his hands from he nape of her neck and finds the strings holding back the three buns atop her head. He's giving her time to stop him.She doesn't.One, two, three - he unties them and her hair falls around her shoulders.

 

She shudders and for a moment she feels even less herself than when she'd seen her own monstrous visage for the first time the day before.

 

_How will they know me without them?_

 

She pushes the thought to the back of her mind as she pushes Kylo's shoulders back into the bulkhead.(She only has so much restraint.)He sucks in a breath and she chases it down with her tongue before tearing herself from his mouth all together and sinking to her knees.She peeks up at him while she begins undoing his trousers.His pupils are blown, his lips are parted, and he's breathing heavily. _He's so beautiful._ She's going to take him apart.

 

As she pulls his trousers down, she lets her claws scrape lightly against his thighs in the way she knows he likes.His jaw snaps shut as he tries to stifle a moan.He fails.

 

She smiles into his skin before she begins nipping up the inside of his left leg.She doesn't draw blood, but she can feel his pulse beneath her tongue and she nearly floats with the power of it all, with the trust he's giving her.

 

When she gets to his cock, already hard and hot before her. She gives it a tentative lick, doesn't take it immediately into her mouth. She knows Kylo likes it when she bites him, but she's pretty sure that this is an area where that's not going to translate.Above her, Kylo is holding his breath in anticipation.Well, she shouldn't keep him _waiting._ She licks up and down the length of him, covers her teeth firmly with her lips and mouths at the sides, at the tip, at his balls.

 

_Teasing, touching, more, please, more - it's fine you can take me it's fine please please please._

 

She takes her mouth off him completely before giving him a quick pinch on the ass and a teasing smirk."Be patient!"

 

"I _am,"_ he says, rather impatiently.

 

She rocks back on her heels and laughs, opening the bond as wide as she can so he can tell it's affection and mirth, not mockery.

 

His lips twitch in a responding grin, but he still whines, "Rey, _please._ "

 

_Good and gracious Force, this boy really has no sense of self-preservation._

 

She pops up and grabs him by the hand, leading him back to the bed."I have another idea."

 

~

 

She pulls him down the hallways, through a door, and then down atop her as she flops playfully onto the bed.Her hair fans out around her head, swirling into curling dark tendrils like the shadows that cling to her body, even now.She's smiling and it's equal parts adorable and terrifying. Kylo loves it.

 

(Loves _her._ )

 

He presses his forehead to hers and she lets out a low purr. _Yes, yes, yes._

 

He slowly makes his way down her body, mapping his path with kisses.Eyelids.Nose. Cheek.Chin.Down her neck and across her collarbones.Over each of her breasts in turn and into the hollow of her hip bones.When he finally licks his way into her, Rey lets out a soft "oh."There's a small burst of contentment, but - like before - it's muted and elusive.

 

Kylo finds this completely unacceptable.

 

He sucks on her with unbridled enthusiasm as her legs flex and writhe about his ears.He's vaguely aware that she could snap his neck in an instant as he thumbs at her hips.(He doesn't know if he's ever been this hard.)

 

She strokes his head - first absentmindedly and then with greater intent, until she's pulling at his hair and scratching her claws against his scalp.The sensation sends shivers down his spine and he moans into her mound.

 

_"Again,"_ she says in a vibrating, thrumming command as she scrapes her claws in small, circles at the nape of his neck.

 

He moans again and he's not sure if it's the vibration or his own pleasure or the sound of the moan itself (or some combination of all three), but she's canting her hips against him and letting out gasping, purring, keening moans of her own.

 

It takes a while to convince her body to fully feel pleasure (to fully feel _anything_ ), but it's worth the wait as she thrusts up into his mouth, chanting his name like a prayer.

 

He crawls up her body and kisses her full on the mouth, not bothering to wipe her slick from his lips.She doesn't seem to mind.There's moisture at the corner of her eyes, but she's smiling, laughing even.Her body embraces him just as wonderfully as before - a shifting, buzzing, clinging pull around him as he snaps his hips against hers.He's not going to last long this time either, but it bothers him less now that he's finally brought her to climax.

 

He comes, thrusting deep within her as she digs her heels into his ass and wraps her arms around him in a vice-like embrace.Kylo drifts off to sleep still inside her, desperately avoiding thinking of what awaits them on the morrow.

 

~

 

Kylo starts the engines the moment the sun retreats behind the horizon.He navigates the controls with an ease she would not have expected from him.There's a story there, but not one for today.Perhaps not for a while.

 

As they leave the ground and pull further and further from Jakku's desert sands, Rey wonders if she's going to die.It starts with dread, dark and cold and ripping through her belly.Then icy cold fire, searing her insides. Then a thousand cold, bony hands grasping at her, digging their claws into her skin.And then - the voices.

 

_If you leave, they'll come back and you'll be gone.You will have waited all those years to lose them at the last minute._

 

Her form shrinks, folding in on itself - she's even partially aware she's doing it.Kylo opens his arm in a welcoming gesture and she blurs in her hurry to situate herself in his lap. He cocoons her in his ridiculous cloak and she wraps three sets of arms around his waist and neck.She's being pulled apart - Jakku is jealous, greedy, and doesn't want to let her go.

 

_You're going to put your trust in him and he's going to leave you just like everyone else.You're a monstrous being that no one can love.Stay, stay, stay with us in the dark.Stay with us where you belong._

 

The voices are young and childlike, ragged and ancient. Foreign and alien, but somehow her own.It takes all her strength not to listen to them. She loses time, but Kylo holds her tight throughout, anchoring her against the battering storm.

 

It fades, eventually, or perhaps she simply grows strong enough to bear it.As she comes back to herself, however, Kylo seems to retreat.His spine grows stiff and his grip on her loosens and his mind shutters against hers.

 

"He's coming," Kylo whispers, barely audible against the low hum of the engines. "I don't know if I can hide you from him."

 

She almost asks him if he wants to go back to Jakku, but she doesn't.She wouldn't do that to him.

 

(And she's afraid of what the answer would be.)

 

"Just try your best," she murmurs into his shoulder. "If he sees me, let him see me.I'm not afraid."

 

His embrace tightens even as his mind distances itself from hers still further. 

 

When they are finally hailed by the First Order's sprawling, expansive behemoth of a ship, Kylo is looking ahead, dead-eyed.His response is short, clipped, and flat.He is not her Kylo in these moments.

 

As they approach the ship, an icy presence - cold, even for Rey - fills her veins, claws at her mind, and catches in her throat.

 

_Ah, this must be Snoke._

 

 

 

 

 

Rey runs her tongue along her fangs and wonders what his heart will taste like.


End file.
